The Childish Summer
by Mikutachi
Summary: Bou asks Teruki's help in a matter that will affect them all. An Cafe; Bou x Miku.
1. Prelude, part one

_The one who gave courage and hope to me,  
who lived embracing in my heart uncertainty and loneliness,  
was you_.

_

* * *

  
_

"I need to talk to you," he said, one day. It was after practice, and I was tired and a bit grouchy-- but I obliged. I could never say no to him. I guess you could say he was a bit of a weakness of mine.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I think..." He was digging his fingernails into the hem of his shirt, looking somewhere over my shoulder. "I want to quit the band."

I was silent.

With six words, he had managed to stop my entire train of thought. I didn't feel tired anymore. I didn't even feel thirsty, even though my mouth had become dry.

"Teruki, don't look at me like that."

I blinked, swallowed the air that I forgot to breathe.

"You want to--?"

"I'm so tired, Teruki... This is wearing me out. I might go crazy if I don't stop." He managed to look me in the eye, but this time I was the one to look away.

I almost took this personally. We were closer than friends, closer even than he and Miku had become. It was entirely possible that I knew him better than anyone, but suddenly I felt I didn't know him at all.

"Bou-kun..." My voice felt heavy. I wasn't even sure of what I was trying to say. "This isn't.. This isn't something to say so suddenly like that. Maybe you should think--"

"No!" He cut me off with a shout, and I took a step back. "Teruki, I just can't do this anymore. I have no personal time ... I'm just not cut out for this anymore."

I stared at his face, tried to grasp every emotion I could possibly get ahold of. I raised my hand and traced a finger across his cheek, under his eye. He stared unblinkingly back at me, eyes full of desperation. I knew he wasn't kidding around this time.

"Please," He said, taking one of my hands and squeezing it. "I can't talk to Miku about this by myself."

It was possible that Miku would take this news the hardest. Even harder than me, even harder than Kanon. He and Miku had been together for a few months now, and... Well, to make a long story short, it had taken Miku a long time to get Bou on the same page.

I looked down at his hand holding mine, and I shut my eyes tightly, felt the lump in my throat forming. This was really happening, like we were all afraid it would. How could we think it would be all of us together forever? We were so childish, letting the days pass us by like an neverending summer.

I let my gaze rise back to look Bou in the eyes, and gave him a halfhearted smile.

"All right." I said. It was at that very moment that I agreed to help him tell the band, I realized later, that our summer began to change into autumn. "I'll help you."

I guess An Cafe was going to have to grow up sometime.


	2. Prelude, part two

_My voice is in the letter written to you  
It wafts down under you along with the white snow..._

_

* * *

  
_

_12 December 2008  
Dear Bou:_

_The weather's gotten cold here. Not that it matters especially.  
Anyway- I'm just writing to check in.  
I don't have much to say, not anymore. I think I used up all my words awhile ago._

_Akiharu._

Miku knows it's futile to write, but he studies what he's written anyway. He's already sent more than a few letters over the weeks and months since Bou had left, and there's only ever been one reply:

_July 2007  
"__ Akiharu -_

_In Hokkaido.  
Doing well.  
Don't worry about me.  
-Bou."_

Eight words. Eight lousy words, and three months after Bou had dropped off the face of the earth.

And the fact that Miku uses his real name to sign the letters- Well, that's just a small weakness showing through. A request Bou had made one day as the sky dumped snow on Tokyo, not long before he had made his decision to leave the band. Miku and Bou had been walking together, down the deserted streets after sunset.

"It's so pure..." Bou had said. He was looking up at the sky.

"What?"

"The snow. It's pure."

"Yeah, I guess. You say some pretty unexpected things, you know." Miku didn't think much of the snow, other than it was cold.

"Makes me feel dirty."

"What?" Again, the unexpected remarks.

"It makes me feel dirty. I've been lying to everyone, all this time..."

"What? No, you--"

"Miku, everything in this life we lead revolves around a lie. I pretend to be a girl, you pretend to be someone different... I just want something to be true for once. I'm so tired of living my life as a lie."

Miku was silent, the cold pressing against him on all sides as he walked.

"Then don't call me Miku," he said finally. "Call me by my real name. That's at least true, isn't it?"

Bou stared at Miku, the snow landing on his head in a frosty crown. He parted pink lips slightly, as if anticipating the word he was about to say.  
"Akiharu." He said quietly, staring up at Miku with dark eyes. He smiled faintly. "Akiharu."

He was only ever Akiharu again for Bou. Akiharu was supposed to be a part of himself that he was to forget, to bury under the persona of the band and the stage name he had picked for himself. But Bou was always able to permeate that cover, no matter how thick it might have been. He was able to melt Miku down into the bare minimum of his existence, and let him be his true self.  
And when Bou left, he took Akiharu with him. After their last live together, only Miku was left.

Miku stares at the paper in his hand, at his handwriting carved into the page. _Bou will never read this at all_, he thinks, clenching his teeth. _He's probably already forgotten my voice..._

He crumples up the page and throws it into a wastebasket next to his desk, letting what was left of Akiharu die.

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As would not let me format this the way I would have liked to, please visit my livejournal where this fic was originally published. please be sure to take out the spaces: calpico-sky . livejournal . com / 1600. html #cutid1


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